1st Christmas home & playin' catch up

Wow. Seeing Christmas through Mercy's eyes was absolutely amazing. She loved all the Christmas lights and getting to visit family. She LOVED opening presents. I wasn't to sure how she would do with that but it didn't take her long to get the hang of it and to start tearing into wrapping paper like a pro. We really took the time to soak in her 1st Christmas WITH US.













Also, some big changes are happening in our family. After being a workin' mom for 10 years I'm going to be staying home. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm excited to spend more time with my kids. They are growing up SO fast and I'm missing so much. I've been with my company for 15 years but things just aren't the same anymore so I decided to take a buyout and focus more on my family for a while.

Mercy is doing so GREAT. She's really adjusting well. She's such a good sleeper and eater. It's been so cool to watch her develop her own little personality. She's a little bit sassy but very sweet. She had her first time out the other day. She didn't like that AT ALL. She's learning quickly that hitting our brother doesn't go over well in this house. :) She's finally started talking...ALOT! Favorite thing to say, No ma'am mama. It sounds so cute coming out of her little mouth. She's starting using the big girl potty a little bit too. Could I be so lucky to have an early potty trainer?! Please Lord let it be!! :)

I'm hoping to resurrect this dead blog so keep checking back. :)

6 months home

WOW....I can't believe it's been 6 months already. What an amazing 6 months it's been. In some ways it seem just like yesterday that I was in Ethiopia meeting her and get ready to bring her home but in other ways it's seems like she's been a part of our family forever. I truly can't imagine our life without her in it.

I love watching her little personality come alive. At home she's so happy and loud. She's loves to chase her brother all over the house. He loves having a little playmate around as well. She loves to dance. She starts moving the moment she hears a song. If I sing to her she goes nuts. Dancing all over the place. It's so sweet. She has serious stranger anxiety though. If someone tries to talk to her and she doesn't know you she will tuck her little face into my leg and try to hide. She's especially not crazy about men. My poor dad has only got to hold her a few times because she won't have anything to do with him.

She has a serious obsession with Dora the Explorer. It all started with this silly pair of slippers that have a gigantic Dora head on them. She loves those crazy shoes. She'd wear them everywhere we go if I'd let her.

What an amazing 6 months we've had. I'm so excited about what FOREVER holds for us.

a long overdue update

Here's a few recent pictures of Mercy. She's doing so well. She's such a happy, fun girl. She laughs all the time. She loves her brother and sister. She follows them around all over the house screeching and yelling. She's walking EVERYWHERE. She actually skipped walking and went straight to running. She's obsessed with baby dolls. She has lots of them and carries one around at all times. She had a doctors appointment last week for shots (poor babe) and she's up to 28 pounds and 31 inches long. Wow. That's 16 pounds she gained since March. Baby girl likes to eat. We've had 2 post placement visits and both went great. We also had our re-adoption hearing. She's officially Mercy Byars. YAY! That's about it for now.

YAY!!

Meredith & Ryan are home with Baby Stella. I can't wait to meet her and hear all about their trip. WOO HOO!!!

What a poopy morning

So, it's not even 7am and I've already been up for 2 hours scrubbing poop out of EVERYTHING. We were just getting to that stage with our other kids where we could sleep in on the Saturdays. Addison is 9 and Canaan is almost 4 so they would get up and eat a pop tart or granola bar and watch cartoons until we got up. Man, that's changed over the past few months. Mercy is a morning songbird. I wake up about 6am everyday to her chirping away from her crib. Our room is right across the hall from hers. Usually she has her face completely smooshed against the wall so she can see into my room. This morning her chirping was louder than usual. She was talking to some toys that she had in her bed and seems content to play so I thought I'd get a few more minutes of shut eye. The hubby had gone on an overnight fishing trip so its just me and the kidlets. Addison woke up and walked by Mercy's room and says mom, "Mercy has poop all over her face and hair" Nice! So much for a few extra minutes of sleep. I'm a little scared of what I saw next. Poop EVERYWHERE! Remember, I have 3 kids. I've seen alot but this takes the cake. I had to stand back (holding my nose) and assess the situation. I wasn't even sure where to begin. It took a solid 2 hours to get everything disinfected and to get the babe clean. Gone are the Saturday mornings of sleeping in but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

By the way, see that super cute dress Mercy is wearing? It was made by Eryn. You can buy one and help support their Ethiopian adoption at her Etsy shop.

why private?

Alot of you have asked me WHY I decided to make my blog private. There are a few reasons. One, I just want some privacy. I want to be able to use my kids real names and not worry about putting pictures of them on here. We all know there are some serious wierdo's out there so you can never be to careful. The second reason is I want to feel like I can be "REAL" about my feelings. I don't want to always feel like I have to fart rainbows about the adoption process. If that's what you're looking for then this should probably be the last blog post you read of mine. For the most part my experience has been great but the times that it hasn't been I don't feel like I had the freedom to talk about it. Take my in country experience for example. I've not talked much about it because it was BAD and I didn't feel like I could be "real" about it. After I got home I was so turned off by my in county experience that I stopped blogging, stopped talking to my adoption buddies, I pretty much just wanted to go on with my life like that aspect of it didn't exist. I don't want to feel that way. I've made some great friendships through this journey and I'm trying to focus on all the positive aspects of our journey. I think this would be a great time to throw in that Lindsey Clevinger and her crew and Amy Breedlove are the only reason I made it through the trip....and Henock my FABULOUS driver. Anyways, there have been other times along this journey that I've not felt like I could be honest with how I feel or if I did I'd get a "friendly little reminder" of what was and wasn't allowed on blogs. From this point on, this is read at your own risk. You've been warned that you're going to hear the good the bad and the ugly. The good totally outweighed the bad, for sure.

So excited for Ryan & Meredith!!

CONGRATS TO RYAN & MEREDITH!

They officially became the parent's today of Mercy's BFF, Stella.

one more day

I'm going to change my blog over to private tomorrow. If you've not already left me a comment with your email address please do that today to continue reading. Thanks so much!

Going Private

My blogs going private in a few days. If you want to keep reading then please leave me a comment with your email address.

Happy Birthday sweet girl!!

Happy Birthmothers Day

(pictures from our first meeting)

Today I've been thinking alot about Mercy's birthmother. It's birthmother's Day today and I wonder if she knows that Mercy is with a family that loves her more than life. Does she know that she's been adopted or does she think she's still sitting in an orphanage somewhere in Ethiopia. I wish there was a way to convey to her how grateful we are for her courage and sacrifice. She gave our family the ultimate gift and for that how do you say thank you.

I spent the last 30 minutes rocking Mercy to sleep and praying over her. I spent a lot of that time praying over her birthfamily as well. I pray that they will know in their hearts that Mercy is loved. I pray that all of their needs will be met. I pray they know Jesus. I pray that He fills their hearts with unspeakable peace and joy overflowing.

Tomorrow as I celebrate Mother's day for the first time as a mother of 3 I have to take time to honor her birthfamily. This wouldn't have been possible without their sacrifice.

I'm so honored to get to be Mercy's mom. It brings me so much joy. She's such an amazing gift.

2 new teeth and crawling

Miss Mercy has had a pretty eventful week. She got her first teeth in. Yes, teeth plural. 2 teeth in on the same day. She's not been terribly fussy which makes Mama happy. She also started crawling. Over the past few days she has gotten FAST too. She can be out of sight in seconds. I've been stocking up on the baby proofing stuff. Kitchen cabinets are her FAVORITE. Nice. She also finally started saying mama which totally melts my heart. So sweet. Her birthday is in a couple of weeks and I've been working on getting everything planned. I can't believe she's already 1!!

Also Congrats to Sam & Courtney on their referrals. We're so happy for them!!

Mercy's new tricks

Mercy's story

For those of you who are interested I wrote a column about Mercy for the Huntsville Times.
Check it out

A little update

I'm such a slacker lately. I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Life with 3 kids is a little hectic but we're settling in. M is doing GREAT. She's adjusting great to live here and is bonding with us well. She's amazing and I'm lovin' being her momma. She's such a happy girl. She's a great sleeper (12 hours a night...thank you JESUS) and eats like a champ. She's already gained 2 pounds since she's been home. We spent most of last week poopin' in cups to make sure we were both free of the funk. We ARE!! YAY!! This week we started cloth diapers. I had to wait for the all clear from the doctor first. I'm still waiting on all her blood work to come back and that should be ready by the end of the week. The other 2 kids are adjusting well to having a new babe in the house. A took to her very well from the very beginning but CT took a little time to warm up to her. A loves to hold her and feed her. I'm sure that goes against every bonding book on the market but hey, I've got 3 kids and a hubby that works AND goes to school full time so I need the extra hands. CT loves her but he loves her on HIS terms. When he wants to talk to her or play with her he will but when he's done playing the good big brother he's done. He's 3 so I guess that comes with the territory. Here's a conversation I heard from the backseat of the car yesterday.

CT: M, I love you. You have the cutest little baby feet.
M: dada
CT: M, can I kiss your cute little baby feet?
M: dada

Am I bitter that she says DADA? I'm the one who flew to the other side of the world, puking all over Ethiopia while DADA stayed home eating McDonalds in the air condition in his cozy little home. Yeah, just a little. We've been practicing saying MAMA but so far DADA is it.

Here's a few pics of sweet girl at home.

Meeting Mercy

Alabama...here we come!

Well Laura and M are about 1 hour away from liftoff so PLEASE remember to cover them in prayer today! I know Laura has specifically asked for prayers over M and that she would be able to rest during this LONG flight! I know Laura is super excited about coming home and getting ready to start this new chapter of their life with M! I don't know about you guys but it still feels like a dream to me. It probably won't really hit me until I see her sweet face in front of me.

As this part of the adoption process comes to an end, and the lifelong journey really begins, I want to take a moment to brag on my sister and her husband as well as all of you other adoptive families. I know that THIS is the Father's heart and what you guys are doing is by far the most important thing you could ever do. I know it is a long and sometimes painful journey but know that it is SO worth every bit of the wait, the tears and the sacrifices you have made. You all have many many treasures in heaven!

James 1:27 "Religion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Thanks for supporting my sister and her family during this process! I know she treasures each and every one of you. I've enjoyed blogging for her while she gets to live out this dream!

Now....let the good times begin! I will see some of you at the airport tomorrow...Can't believe it's finally here!

YAAY for AloSmart!

So.... I DID get to talk to Laura today so I just wanted to let you all know! I was SO excited as I was dialing the number. AloSmart was VERY easy to use so I have to give them props for that! I was nervous but it really did go very smoothly. Then Lisa tried to call after I bragged about how easy it was and she couldn't get through to her. So I guess it doesn't ALWAYS go that smoothly. She did eventually get to talk to her as well. Laura seemed excited to hear from us. She was just hanging at the guest house with M doing a little packing in preparation for their long journey home tomorrow. YAAAY for us...hopefully it will be as smooth as possible for them! Everyone else was getting ready to go out for an authentic Ethiopian meal. Laura decided to pass on that considering her recent tummy troubles and because she wouldn't be able to take M with her. So they were spending an evening at home together and having more mommy/daughter bonding time!

I got to hear M's precious voice. She is very chatty! : ) I even got to hear her say Da Da. She must be SUPER excited about meeting her Daddy for the first time! ; ) The cutest thing was hearing her laugh. Not sure what she was laughing at but she laughed several times over the course of the phone conversation. GOSH it seems unreal that I would even be able to call and hear her voice. It's amazing!

Laura did share some of her experiences visiting the state run orphanages and just hearing that brought tears to my eyes. I will save all of that for her to share with us. She said visiting those orphanages was heart-wrenching and that after seeing them, she realized that the Foster Care Home where M stayed was actually pretty nice in comparison. WOW...She said unless you see it firsthand, you just have no idea. I'm sure for those of us who have never traveled to a place like that, it would completely change your perspective on things.

On a lighter note, she did say she nearly got ran over by a donkey yesterday! and YES she does have video footage so we will all get to see this wild donkey for ourselves! I believe it is the same donkey that the small child was hanging off of!

She is SO looking forward to coming home tomorrow! Well they will be leaving tomorrow but won't actually arrive until 24+ hours later! WHEW...please remember to say a prayer for them as they travel back beginning tomorrow! She said they will leave around 4:00pm Ethiopia time so that is actually around 8:00am tomorrow morning for us.

Again, if you are interested in meeting them at the airport, please contact Lisa at lisaboatner@gmail.com. We have a few things we would like to let everyone know with regards to letting the DH, A and C have their time with Laura and M first.

Not sure if I will get an update tomorrow but hopefully I will. If not, you had 2 today! :)

Stress-free Day!

Good Morning!!! I had an email update from S (which by the way I should have been referring to him as DH after I read Laura's code word guide so forgive me!) and today has been a pretty laid-back low-stress day, which has been great for Laura and M. M woke up in a great mood and Laura's stomach is getting better and better each day! Laura was able to get out and do a little shopping for M, who has a birthday coming up in May! So overall today has been a GREAT day...I don't have a ton of info today but still wanted to keep you all posted. I HOPE to get to talk to Laura at some point today but not sure if I will be able to. If so, I may post another update. So that was about all...Laura was heading home when DH talked to her and she renting the movie "Mall Cop" to watch at home tonight! I'm sure she is loving every minute of being there with her sweet M! I bet "Mall Cop" will be M's first movie. Hope she likes it!:)

I may have another update later today so stay tuned...

First words and wild donkeys!

WOO HOO! I'm very happy to report that I just got off the phone with S and today has been a MUCH better day so far for Laura and M! God is so good, isn't He? It's amazing to see the difference between today and yesterday. So thanks to all of you who have offered up prayers for the both of them! : ) You guys are wonderful!


Laura is doing MUCH MUCH better today. Who knows what that was about? It could have even been jet lag! I have never experienced it but I've heard it's BAD! But so happy she is all better. M had a GREAT night as well she is sleeping so well. She went to bed around 7:00pm and didn't wake up til about 5:00 or 6:00! So that also helped Laura get some much needed rest as well. They had their Embassy appointment today. This was the only day Laura was allowed to take M out since it was their Embassy Appointment day. She actually got to take her out to a restaurant as well! AWWW!!! Yaay for M's first dining out experience! They also passed their Visa appointment (not sure if that is the correct terminology but you get the point) and Laura will pick that up in a day or so.

M is eating very well! She must know that since she is a part of this family, girl has GOT to eat! : ) We like our food and we like it ALOT! : ) She has transitioned to a new formula that Laura brought and so far so good. They also got to go back and visit the Foster Center where M lived. Apparently, when Laura first got M, she didn't pick her up there as I thought. They actually brought M to her. So it was really special for them to get to go back and visit the place where M was during this whole process. Laura got to see the bed she stayed in and meet the caregiver who took such good care of little M. They call them their "Special Mothers." Laura gave her a gift as a thanks for taking care of her baby girl and also left a picture of the family with her. How sweet!! I'm sure that has to be hard after bonding with those babies and then have to goodbye but at the same time it's good to know they are so blessed to have the opportunity for a better life!

A few funny things Laura mentioned was that the school system is SO different over there. She was shocked to find out that the kids go to school in shifts. There is a morning, afternoon and evening shift. So whatever shift they select a kid for is when they'll go to school. Pretty crazy! Laura also saw something she found quite amusing...a 6 or 7 yr old little boy was hanging on the side of a donkey. Apparently the donkey didn't like it too much but the little boy thought it was rather fun! Apparently, she is staying across the street from some place where a bunch of different animals are kept. So she has been hearing weird noises throughout the night as the animals get riled up. I'm sure she will have some funny animal stories to share with us when she returns.

And....the most special thing S told me is that M can say 1 word....guess what it is...."Da Da!" Not only that, but S got to hear her say it 3 times! He said it was pretty amazing to hear her little voice over the phone. I told him that God did that just for him since he was not able to make the trip. How cool is it that her first words are Da Da and he isn't even there! I asked him what her voice sounds like and he said it's a little deeper than most babies voices...and so precious! Saturday cannot get here fast enough!

The only other thing S mentioned is that Laura was hoping to possibly meet M's birth father but it's not looking like that will happen. They have not been able to get in touch with him.

Soo...everything seems to be going great and as planned. Laura was able to call and confirm their flight so everything is still on schedule!

That's all for now...Stay tuned!

Tummy trouble...

Hey guys....I just talked to S and he spoke with Laura a little while ago. Unfortunately, Laura has gotten sick with some sort of stomach bug. She has been really careful with what she has eaten but apparently her stomach is not agreeing with something right now. She said everything is SO different there so it is to be expected. Especially with her and her weak stomach. Please say a prayer for her so that she can get past this and that she will have the strength to get everything done that she needs to do this week, including the most important thing which is to spend lots of time bonding with M! Speaking of M, she is still doing very well with the adjusting aspect of this process. She has been really happy so far...oh EXCEPT for bath time! She did not like that one bit. Apparently her baths thus far in her life have consisted of a wash cloth. SO she was not quite sure what was going on when Laura tried to give her a good "washin." Sean said that Laura thought it was funny that M does the same thing C did when he was a baby. I guess M had quite a breakdown during the bath time and apparently went to sleep not long after the bath but she had gotten herself so worked up that she was kind of quivering in her sleep, just like little C used to do! AWWW! She will get used to baths VERY soon with Laura as her momma!

They did find out that M has Giardia. From what I read online and from what Sean told me, Giardia is an infection of the small intestine caused by a parasite. Unfortunately, Ethiopia is not as medically advanced as we are here and from what I understand, they don't really have anything to treat her with over there. Now once she get's home to the US, it's just a matter of getting her to the doctor and getting her some meds that should clear it up. So for now, she is having lots of "blow outs!" Pray for this sweet baby girl that she would be healed and have no more problems. I think 18 hours on a plane is hard enough on a baby (and everyone else) without having to deal with lots of explosive poopies!

Well...that's about all for now. Today wasn't near as upbeat but hey, it's reality and for everything that they are dealing with right now, I'd say Laura and M are both doing great! Please remember them in your prayers. We need them to be healthy and ready to fly home to us.

Also, several people have mentioned that they'd like to come to the airport to meet M and Laura when they get home. If you have any questions, please contact our other sister, Lisa (lboatner@gmail.com) for updates. She will keep everyone posted as to the status of the flight and if there are any delays (which we pray there won't be) or anything else! If all goes according to plan, they should be arriving in HSV around 5:30pm on Saturday! WOO HOO!

Stay tuned...

A Dream Come True!

Hey Guys....it's Randi (Laura's youngest sister)! She has asked for me to update her blog as much as possible to keep all of you updated. I was not able to post yesterday but really there was no news to share other than the fact that she was on a plane for a VERY long time and then I believe she had to sleep once she did finally arrive since it was the middle of the night! I haven't been able to talk to her but apparently the flight went very smoothly, other than the delay she had in Atlanta. But God is faithful and she was able to still get on the flight from Dulles to Ethiopia!

I had an email bright and early this morning and the subject was "Hey from Ethiopia!" WOW - it still doesn't even feel real. I will share the email from Laura since I can't really sum it up...

Hey guys, I wanted to check in and let you know that I'm here and everything is good. My hotmail won't work so I'm emailing from Jamie's email (one of the girls traveling with me) I don't have a phone yet but will get one this afternoon and will call. I'm checking email at the Hilton Hotel. I got M this morning and she's AWESOME! She's so little and perfect. I think every outfit I brought is going to be to big. :) She didn't cry or anything but just rubbed my face when they handed her to me. She's with a caregiver right now so I could go get lunch. She can't go with me anywhere. Anyway, I'll try to call later but wanted to let you know I'm good. Having a great time. Ethiopia is AMAZING!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Kiss the kids for me. Laura SO there you have it....that's all of the info I have at this time. It brought tears to my eyes to read about their meeting for the first time! I know this is truly a dream come true for Laura and her family back home! Stay tuned...

I'm on my way!

I'm leaving bright and early in the morning for Ethiopia. Next time I'm checking in M will be in my arms. I'm so excited and so ready to go. Pray that everything goes well. YAY!!!

2 more days!

In 2 more sleeps I will be on my way to M. Thank you Jesus!!

Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

Look how cute! I'm entering! You should too. Would M look fabulous in this!

5 more days

It seems unreal that I will be leaving for Ethiopia in 5 more days. I can't believe I will finally get to hold M in my arms. Something I've only dreamed about for the past 2 years. I think about what she will think about me.....A complete stranger to her. She's no stranger to me though. She's the baby girl that I've loved from across the world for the past 2 years. The baby girl that I've memorized every thing about over pictures. The baby girl that we've prayed over since adoption was just a dream....before she was ever even conceived.

I know that the adjustment isn't going to be easy for her and I'm prepared for that....I think. She may not be in love with me at first like I am with her. That's okay too. We'll continue to love her and eventually she will know that we are her forever family. Will you pray that the adjustment for M will be smooth? She will be leaving the only stability she's ever known and coming home with a someone she doesn't know. I'm sure this will be very hard on her caregivers as well. Just by looking at the pictures I can tell they love her very much.


I leave on Saturday and we'll be home the following Saturday, March 14th. Some of you local peeps have sent emails about meeting us at the airport when we get home. If you are interested in doing that please let me know and I'll put you in touch with my sister (Lisa) who will keep you updated on my flight schedule for the 14th. Right now it looks like my plane comes in around 5:30pm on Saturday but that could change.


Also, my sister (Randi) will be updating my blog for me while I'm gone. I'm sure it will be pretty general updates and I'll give you all the details and post pictures when I get home.

sad for my friend

One of my dear friends did not pass court AGAIN. (She's not with Gladney) My heart is broken for her because I can't imagine what she's going through. This was like her 5th court date. I wish I understood why God does what He does sometimes. Where is the justice in her son sitting in an orphanage for MONTHS when he should have already been with his family. Why?! I know that God is sovereign but I don't understand things like this. What's the purpose in the waiting? I've been on my face crying out to God for JUSTICE for this sweet boy. I'm so sad for her and for her son who should be with his parents. Friend, know that I LOVE you and I'm praying for you.

SHE'S OURS!!!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

NEW COURTDATE!!!

We just got a call from Natalie...or courtdate got moved up to THIS THURSDAY!! Holy Cow! I'm so excited!!

M's shower & other stuff

Yesterday some amazing friends and family had a shower for baby M. Everything was beautiful....especially the cake. Wow. It was the prettiest cake I've ever seen and it was oh so yummy. We got almost everything we need for sweetie girl M. I still need a stroller but I'm hoping to get that taken care of this week. I got an ERGO carrier which I sooo wanted but am to cheap to by it for myself. Now I just have to figure out how to use it. When I was at the Blog Union all the ethio adopt moms were whipping their kids in and out of those things and making it look so easy. Not so much. Maybe I need to practice for a while before I go get M. She also got some really cute outfits. I can't wait to get her home to play dress up. I'm so blessed to have such amazing friends and family that love baby M as much as they do.

We're going to take a little vacay in a couple of weeks. We haven't been anywhere as a family in 2 years. Instead we've been sinking all our money and vacation time into the adoption. After our court delay we decided that we need a little get away as a family even if it's just for a couple of days. We found this cool hotel with a HUGE indoor waterpark in Gatlinburg and we're going next weekend. The kids are going to have a blast. I could do without having to shove my chubby tail into a bathing suit but it's for the kids, right?

Also, we got some GREAT NEWS last week. We have enough money to pay off the rest of our adoption and to fully fund our travel thanks to ABBA Fund and Pathways for Little Feet. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Coolest idea ever

The fabulous Courtney Rose has an amazing idea go check it out and send her a bead. This is sisterhood.

I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I am to have such an amazing group of friends and family. You guys have been so supportive through this really tough week of disappointment and frustration. This delay in our adoption did NOT catch God off guard. He is in complete control. I don't always understand why He does what He does but my TRUST in Him is unwavering. There is purpose to the pain. We're still believing that Gladney is going to be able to get our court date moved up so we don't have to wait 6 more weeks...they are working on that. Thank you so much for your sweet words and prayers. They mean so much to me.

We've been rescheduled

Our new court date is March 10th.

...and more waiting

I spoke with Natalie a little while ago and we are no further today than we were yesterday. No opinions were issued today on our case but they weren't rescheduled or kept "open" either. They told Belay to come back tomorrow to decide where we go from here. Pretty much, we're still waiting. M's birthfather did relinquish his rights today so that's a positive.

I'll keep you posted on where we go from here. Pray that something happens quickly and we're not waiting for months more for a new courtdate.

possible delays....

Well, I was ready hoping to skate through the day today without a call from Natalie. I knew if she called that couldn't be a good thing since our courtdate isn't until tomorrow. Guess who called? Yep, Natalie. I love her but I didn't want to talk to her today....tomorrow absolutely but not today. She just wanted to give us a heads up of a possible delay for tomorrow for all cases. We're not out yet for tomorrow but it's not looking likely. Please pray for a miracle that ALL the cases that are scheduled for tomorrow will be heard and opinions will be issued. If we don't make it through court tomorrow we're not sure what we're looking at. A reschedule or our case staying "open" Either way, my heart hurts today. I'm trying to stay positive but that's not going to good. We need your prayers.

tomorrow's the big day!!

Our courtdate is tomorrow....pray!!

much better today

Thank you for letting me vent and whine yesterday. Today I'm feeling so much better. I wish I could say that I won't feel down again between now and our court date but this is such an emotional roller coaster that my feelings are changing minute by minute.

Yesterday and again today I've spent alot of time on my face before the Lord. Praying for peace and that I would have His joy in the midst of uncertainty. That God would give us favor with the courts and that God would wrap His arms around M's birth family and they would know peace like only He can give. That God would reveal His heart to us. That if we don't pass court that His grace would be sufficient.

As much as I love M, Jesus loves her sooo much more. He wants good things for her. No matter what happens on the 27th, I TRUST Him that He is holding M in the palm of His hand. He loves her so much and He loves me. We'll get through this. God's taking me to a whole new level of learning to trust Him. There is purpose to all the waiting. Thank you for your prayers. Please keep em' coming!

5 more days!

How do you do it? How do you keep it together knowing that this courtdate will be the deciding factor in whether "M" is home with us in a couple of weeks or months more of waiting. I'm a wreck. I feel like I'm going to either throw up or crying every other second.

Also, how did I not know that her birth father is required to show up for court? What if he doesn't? Then we're waiting MONTHS for a new courtdate and the thought of that is overwhelming. She needs us and we need her.

Please pray specifically that....

• Her birth father shows up for court
• Our case is heard on the 27th (sometimes they run out of time and just reschedule)
• All our paperwork is in order to pass court
• Her birth family would have peace with their decision

**UPDATE** I've spent the afternoon having some quiet time with the Father and I'm feeling much better. Thank you for your prayers and support.

15 more days and I just may puke

How in the world do you guys do it? If I'm this nervous 15 days before my courtdate I'm sure I will be a complete basketcase the day of. I'm so close and I'm so antsy. She's all I can think about, pray about, talk about. We HAVE to pass court on the 27th or I may just crawl into a hole. The thought of not passing and having to wait for a courtdate all over again makes me feel sick to my stomach.

We got a new video and tons of pictures from Heather on Friday. Oh my gosh...I can't wait to get sweet "M" in my arms. She has the cutest smile. She does this thing with her eyes when she smiles and it makes my heart melt. "CT" has probably watched the video 500 times. He loves his baby sister so much. He put the video on repeat and watched it over and over. He's memorized every word that Heather says in the video and says it along with her. So cute.

Please pray that court goes well on the 27th.